Meanwhile; What students were upto

Andrew Kuloba is a disappointed comrade. A hungry man is an angry man is a statement that least describes the state of affairs in Laikipia, Buru Buru hostels. Having carefully ‘measured’ two tins of maize and beans in his giant sufuria (yes it does cover two sets of coils at your nearest kitchenette) some hours ago, my friend here decided to go and catch up with the latest from Champions League replays. With his face muscles now tightening, he sadly narrates how at half time he came back to ‘reinforce’ the meal by adding water.

‘’Hii kitu bwana karibu ilikuwa imeiva’’, a dejected Kuloba laments.

He continues on how he finally armed himself (to the teeth if you like) with the necessary ingredients so as to take meal into injury time by frying it. So what does he find? Two tiny sufurias relaxed-ly seated where his goldmine should be. A look around meets two pairs of eyes sternly looking at him, one stroking his beard and the other on earphones but whose music is still on loudspeaker, it’s fundamentals playing. He gets the point, this is no place for you brutha, these are new occupants of his former throne, and his meal? He dare not ask, he’ll look stupid, they could even laugh at him.

I however think Kuloba’s boiler of a sufuria is somewhere in the heart of Ruwenzory hostels enjoying extra time heat as the new owners prepare to capitalize on a luck so tight.

‘’ lakini watu wengine wanakuanga na roho ya shetani aje’’, he fumes, ‘’mtu hata hujakula chochote kutoka asubuhi alafu mwengine anakuibia maharagwe ivo jameni, ata kama ni wewe’’

Andrew however blames the current stalemate between the dons and the courts over pay for this rather immensely tragic incident on his part. He says a majority of the students are too idle and an idle mind we all know is the devil’s workshop.

‘’wanaume saa hii ni kukula tu, kuota jua na kulala’’, this he says with the same expression a headmaster would use, to justify poor results in a school.

Birir Thomas agrees, the kitchenettes are more crowded than before. On cooking supper one should avail themselves at the headquarters latest 3 pm, not to cook, to book a coil. This will ensure your supper is ready earliest 10 pm. This is not however Birir’s greatest fear. With nobody going to class the degree of cooking has doubled and this he says threatens what he calls ‘food security’. When asked if the mid semester  break has done anything to reduce this apparent congestion he is quick to respond that none of his other two roommates have showed any signs of going home.

‘’ ni madem tu ndio nimeona kadhaa na suitcases, wanaume sijaona yeyote’’, Birir says.

One Stan Ayiro seems to be the only comrade with an explanation to this theory, that only ladies (okay a majority of those taking a mid semester break). In his post this morning his headline screamed ‘’SUGARDADIES REAP BIG FROM THE LECTURER’S STRIKE’, a few butthurt comments didn’t deter him from elucidating on the matter more.

‘’ all my female neighbors left the campus only hours after the strike notice had been posted’’, Ayiro who is a non-resident student said, ‘’ matter of fact one was picked right outside our hostel gates’’. He however later said he had no begrudging issues with the trend and further wished those involved a nice outing only they should remember that sugar-daddies do not sit for cats.

Well, the professors mean it this time, no relenting, and such times only call for quick intervention from the powers that be, it could get worse with a section of varsity students also issuing  a strike notice should the strike last beyond a week. Is everyone affected though, I doubt that. Believe you me there is a group of students who aren’t even aware that there is a missing Malaysian plane, let alone the strike or the mid semester break. Activities here go on un deterred, don’t give a hoot who’s striking and who’s not, you’ll find this special group at the pool zone, giving a puff here and there and frequently ogling at Barrett females as they come to buy timetables( they should have done this in week one).  The start and end of a semester are all the same to this group, pool gamble all through and occasionally shouting at a class rep who happened to drop a handout at the photocopier’s.

‘’ wee Aleky hiyo daro ni saa ngapi? ’’, goes the query. You will agree with me that to answer such a question becomes tricky especially if the class rep is already coming from a different class at the moment. And whether the class is at 1,2,3,4,5 or 6 pm, the gamble won’t stop.

So with lecturers striking, planes disappearing and more lecturers getting kidnapped, a time is imminent when even our own security agents in the campus will need bodyguards.

P.S- please do wear a helmet, you never know where that plane could land.